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(Photo by JIM WATSON/AFP via Getty Images)
Pour one out for the pillow fluffer! Or not, since he’s teetotal and will sue you for defamation if you suggest that he bought a woman a bottle of wine.
Actually, scratch that. Mike Lindell just lost all his lawyers, so drink up, kids!
Yesterday, attorneys for the election-denying pillow impresario filed motions to withdraw from representing him in three of his pending cases. His longtime counsel Andrew Parker, of the Minnesota-based firm Parker Daniels Kibort, claims to be owed millions of dollars in fees and incapable of bearing the cost of continued representation. According to his motions to withdraw, Lindell told the firm on Monday that no future payments will be forthcoming.
“On October 2, 2023, PDK was informed by Defendants that they are not able to get caught up with or make any payment on the large amount they owe in arrears nor pay for anywhere near the estimated expense of continuing to defend against the lawsuits going forward, including either the legal fees or litigation costs,” he wrote, adding that “Forcing PDK to continue funding Defendants’ defense in the above-captioned matter would place PDK in serious financial risk and could threaten the very existence of the firm.”
Parker seeks to withdraw from representing Lindell in defamation suits brought by voting machine companies Dominion and Smartmatic, as well as one by former Dominion executive Eric Coomer, whom Lindell accused of stealing the election. Parker does not appear to have moved to withdraw from the action to avoid paying the $5 million reward Lindell offered to anyone who could prove his supposed smoking gun election fraud data was garbage, or the claim against the FBI for seizing Lindell’s phone at a Hardee’s drive through in Minnesota.
Lindell, who recently claimed that his company is under IRS audit in multiple states for its employee compensation structure, says My Pillow is broke. Politico reports that Lindell blames his woes on woke American Express, which recently reduced his line of credit from $1 million to $100,000, leaving him barely able to make payroll. But the problems trace back to at least the summer, when the company was forced to auction off more than 700 pieces of office equipment thanks to declining sales.
It’s liberal lawfare, and the pillow man knows exactly who’s to blame.
During his regular scream therapy session with podcaster Steve Bannon, the devoutly Christian businessman called his lawyers “courageous,” before defending his plan to stiff them on the bill because “I have to protect my company.”
It’s a plot by Big Woke to take down a great American. But fear not, patriots, because these colors don’t run. Lindell doesn’t know where he’s going to get new lawyers, or how he’ll pay them for their services. But he vowed to CNN that he’d never settle, “not in a million years.”
Shine on you crazy pro se diamond. And keep pumping out those MAGA discount codes.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics and appears on the Opening Arguments podcast.
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