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(Photo by Chen Mengtong/China News Service via Getty Images)
Listening to a methodical breakdown of the post-election assault on the basic rule of law can drive anyone to drink. While 1 in the afternoon may be a tad on the early side, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere (specifically Reykjavik… if you need to be formal about it) so if you find yourself craving a beer (or more) while watching the formal autopsy of the Trump Putsch, we’ve got you covered.
With a couple of hearings under our belt, we’ve put together a handy drinking game guide going forward. Standard rules, so for every occurrence below, unless otherwise directed, take a sip of… um… Diet Pepsi.
And keep checking back here for future hearings, because we’ll update as things progress.
House Resolution 503: A little bookkeeping sip for Chair Bennie Thompson citing the Committee’s authority. It’s good for 2 or 3 sips. Take them and stare lovingly at your copy of the Bluebook.
Insurrection/Sedition/Attack/Assault/Riot (Dealer’s Choice): Here’s where you have some agency in the game. Choose ONE descriptor for the events of January 6 and take a sip whenever it gets used.
Law School/Law Firm Mention: There are a lot of lawyers in these hearings and everyone appreciates a pretentious shout out. When lawyerly credentials are mentioned take a sip. Warning: there’s a risk that “Chapman” might end up getting us pretty wasted during the John Eastman hearing.
Someone Talks Real Tough AFTER January 6: We talked about this a bit the other day, but there are some lawyers testifying about taking a firm stance against the coup effort on January 7 despite hanging out at the January 6 rally. Since then, Liz Cheney’s sent that testimony around on social media. While viscerally satisfying to hear about John Eastman getting dressed down, it sounds a whole lot like partners posturing about how much they let the associate have it after losing a motion they’d edited themselves 15 times. And, not for nothing, pre-January 6 advice holds a lot of legal weight while chewing someone out on January 7 is just a visit from…
25th Amendment: We’ve seen previews that folks within the White House talked about invoking the 25th Amendment to shield themselves before Trump dragged them further into the nether zone. Also take an additional sip for every cabinet member we learn was on board with the idea.
Electoral Count Act: The specific law that John Eastman claimed could give Mike Pence the authority to decide the outcome of the presidential election. Finish your drink if they include “of 1887.”
Dan Quayle (finish drink): Related to the Electoral Count Act, America’s most comical Vice President reportedly advised Pence on his January 6 responsibilities. If he works his way into the record, this could be this joker’s last brush with high office. As a side note, how is it possible that we’ve had two VPs from Indiana in the last 30 years?
Bill Barr Cussin’: After years of aiding and abetting the administration and then praising Trump on his way out the door while he tried to slither away before he got tagged with the toxic election nonsense, Barr put on quite the show in his video deposition. He’s now quick to tell everyone that he not only opposed Trump’s post-election hijinks, but he’s willing to underscore his opposition with some… colorful metaphors. He’s a wacky guy! 
Pardon Me: Not the polite statement, but every time we hear about presidential pardons. Some members of Congress will be fingered for seeking pardons after the coup went downhill, but also take a sip when Jared Kushner lifelessly recounts how he spent the whole lame duck session trying to ram through as many crony pardons as possible.
“Trump Sent Me”: Every time they cut to a video of some yahoos claiming that they received marching orders from Trump.
Dominion/Smartmatic: The electronic tabulation companies that Trump’s conspiratorial colleagues claimed stole the election, prompting a mega-MAGA-defamation suit.
Hugo Chavez (finish drink): The long-dead former Venezuelan leader became a curious talking point after the election, with Sidney Powell zeroing in on his role manipulating ballots from beyond the grave.
That’s all for now. As we said, we’ll add more as the hearings continue.
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.
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